Ted Rall - Saturday May 1, 1999 Comic Strip Licensing and Permissions

Transcript

Killer students play some sports - but hate jocks who play other sports! Is this your kid? No, no, no - I hate jocks who play my sports. I'm having you jailed just to be safe. Someday I'll kill you all As you know, killer students are fascinated by Adolf Hitler, but did you know that any fascination with dictatorial foreign leaders can lead to unhealthy mass-murder-suicides for which you may be found financially liable (depending on the state where said crime is committed)? Back away from the book! Either watch "doom 4" or I'll disown you - I won't have you becoming one of the 18.1%! 9 out of 11 killer students play violent video games. But the other 2 don't! Are you taking necessary precautions? But dad - I'm all out of ammo anyway! Killer students: excessive normality is a certain signal of murderous (and/or suicidal) urges! I'm going out for cheer leading! Be gone, Satan! It's genetic! Killer students have killer parents! Both of my parents shot up their schools and then killed themselves when they were kids - now I'm gonna honor their murderous memory!

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