Tom the Dancing Bug - Friday September 7, 2018 Comic Strip Licensing and Permissions

Transcript

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Eighth in a series of government information brochures Papers, Please! Greetings, Brown Person.* IF you've been handed this brochure, then you are a "United States citizen" whose legitimate citizenship has been called into question because you were born near the Mexican border. *Para este brochure en Espanol, tough-o luck-o Now you must PROVE you were born here! Simply provide the following easily attainable documents, and you will continue to enjoy most citizenship benefits, which REGULAR U.S. citizens magnanimously confer upon you. SUBMIT ONE DOCUMENT FROM THIS COLUMN Receipts for your mother's prenatal care expenses. Your family's home lease at the time of your birth. A photo of you taken the day you were born, holding up a copy of that day's Wall Street Journal. AND SUBMIT ONE DOCUMENT FROM THIS COLUMN A scoresheet from a major league baseball game on the day you were born, completed contemporaneously, in your handwriting. A copy of The Art of the Deal, inscribed to you by Donald Trump and dated on your birthday. A time-stamped telegram from Ted Nugent, congratulating you on your birth. Your umbilical cord, stored in a Welch's grape jelly jar bearing an expiration date in your birth year. IF YOU FAIL TO PROVIDE SUCH PROOF OF YOUR BIRTH IN THE U.S., YOU WILL BE DEPORTED TO MEXICO. SPECIAL PROVISION FOR SLOVENIAN-BORN NATURALIZED CITIZENS WHO ENTERED THE U.S. ILLEGALLY TO WORK AS MODELS: The validity of your citizenship shall not be questioned as long as you remain married to your husband, and only slap his (large) hand away from yours a maximum of three (3) times per year. A Message From The President YOU may have thought you were a United States citizen your entire life, but WE can never be sure. A Kenyan man once fooled us, rose to the highest levels of the U.S. government, and did great damage to our nation. And if you really were born here, you have nothing to worry about, right?

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